Are you ghosting your team?

​Hey Reader,​

I’ve been designing strategies, connecting the dots, and helping leaders and their teams navigate change both in-house and with Commcoterie for a long time, and if I had to pick one red flag that signals to me early on that a change will fail, it’s this: leaders want their teams to do as the leader says, not as they do.

We've all seen this happen:

• Use this new software (while I have an assistant do it for me).
• Come back to the office in-person (while I stay comfy at home...or at my second home...or third).
• We've won a best place to work award! On an unrelated note, please join me in saying goodbye to our Chief Diversity Officer.

Now, my clients are leaders of impact companies, nonprofits, agencies, and other small and midsize organizations that are trying to make the world a better place. They're not extracting fossil fuels, peddling cigarettes to minors, or even flying their private jets to Davos. Most often, the decisions they make are better for the organization and its people. But as the old adage goes: actions speak louder than words. And when you lead, especially at a values-driven organization, your teams are watching what you do.

Teams take their cues more from what you do than what you say (but those have to match)

At my core, I’m a communicator just as much as a problem-solving strategist, so I have to be clear when I say that those two things – the messaging and the motions – must work in tandem (and I know, that is way harder than it sounds), but the quickest way to make your change fail or fizzle is for you to introduce, announce, or implement a change...and then maintain your own status quo while you leave everyone else in the trenches.

They will see you (yes, even remotely). They will notice. They will remember.

Are you actively participating in the changes you introduce? Or are you ghosting your team?

When I work with organizations to design strategies and navigate change, the initiatives that are most successful are the ones where the leader is committed to participating in the change right alongside their teams.

It doesn’t mean doing the work for them. It doesn’t mean getting in the weeds. It simply means walking your talk.

If you introduce new processes, systems, or software that everyone is expected to use or follow, did you mean everyone…but you?

If you expect everyone to live the company values in their everyday (work) lives, how are the values showing up in your own behavior, and have you identified any changes you yourself have to make?

When you say one thing and do another, you’re giving others permission to do so as well. They see a leader who asks them to do things that the leader doesn’t even value themselves. You’re signaling that putting a PR spin on inaction is your culture.

So, before you decide how your teams should change, answer this question: how will I change?

Here are a few more thought-starters:

• What will it take to shift my own status quo?
• What, if anything, will I have to give up?
• How does this change show up in my day-to-day?
• If it doesn’t, how does what I’m asking others to do tie into the big picture at our organization?
• What might I be missing right now about the impact this change should actually have on me?
• What are my barriers to behavior adoption?
• What challenges will I face when trying to take ownership of this new way of working?

And, most importantly: Will I work alongside my team? Or do I plan on ghosting them?

Happy change-making,

Caitlin

Caitlin Harper
​Founder, Commcoterie

P.S. – My daughter is starting pre-K in September and has some time off from daycare before then, so we’re going to have a fun NYC staycation, hit up some libraries and museums, and hopefully teach her how to swim! I’ll pick up on my 2x/month cadence in September so we can finish 2025 strong and help you build an organization that’s ready for anything.

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