How to ~be~ in a world on fire

​Hey Reader,​

I’ve never received so many calls to action in my life. Donate. Vote. Give us your feedback. Call. Converse. Fill out this form. Come into the office. Post. Email. Like. Subscribe.

People begging me, compelling me, and telling me to do something.

And it will not end. Not tomorrow or by the end of the week or the end of the month or on December 31, 2025 or on January 6, 2025 or on my daughter's first day of preschool or by the end of the next calendar year. It will go on and on forever! For the rest of my life!!

The answer, of course, is not to shut down completely and do nothing (or hide under a rock somewhere). In the utter turmoil of things to do, I'd like to ask instead: how can we be?

What is the difference between being and doing?

Put simply, doing requires some form of action to achieve an outcome. Being entails present moment awareness, observation, and acceptance. The argument can be made that observing or accepting are actions, and therefore doing, but really, these are two different states: doing and being.

Doing is evaluating the past and future, creating connections and narratives, and taking proactive goal-oriented or reactive automatic actions to achieve a future state. But (like in my last newsletter where I explored what I mean when I say that all change is harm) constantly functioning in doing mode is unhealthy for people and organizations (and communities and countries and the world).

So what is being?

Being is mindful focus on the present moment along with accepting and attending to experiences without judgment. Acceptance doesn't have to mean resignation. It can mean accepting limitations, accepting your experience, accepting your emotions, or accepting what simply is. Being is intentional rather than automatic; even if you observe something that you will end up acting on or trying to change, that action is not for the present moment.

Can doing and being mode exist together?

Those who study workplace behavior and organizational psychology are especially interested in whether doing and being mode can exist simultaneously, or whether they are even complementary or possible in the workplace. Can one focus on the present moment while acting with intention to a try to achieve a future state? Isn't the whole point of work to do things?

While my professional work consists of many things to do there is also a strong component of being

I've been doing for a long, long time. There were years when I even considered being to be a total waste of time. If I wasn't doing, then what was I even doing (here on earth, with my life)!?

But that way lies madness. Instead, I've found the answer to be balance.

When I start working with clients, the first step is to uncover. This consists of doing in the form of a lot of research and conversations, but a major component is awareness. What is happening right now in an organization? In the present moment, what is the culture, and how do people experience their day-to-day? I try to withhold judgment, not labeling things as good or bad or trying to change them right away, but attempting to understand them.

Often, when the leaders I work with make decisions they do so with attachment to certain outcomes. But especially at the start of a project, exploring without attachment can surface alternative choices, paths, and directions.

When I enter organizations to work with leaders, their actions are often automatic behaviors or occur out of habit — this is pure doing mode. Especially when you're in that tender part of a brand new change journey, you want to lean into being mode. When we're in being mode, we're responsive rather than reactive. We don’t make decisions and take actions based on impulse. Instead, we reflect, slow down, understand, and make choices with intention.

If that makes my projects seem calm and easy, I promise they're very often not. Even attempting to be in a doing world is very, very difficult.

So how can I possibly be right now (or ever???)

Step 1: Ensure basic needs are met

As an individual, this means sleeping, eating nutritious food, staying hydrated, moving your body, breathing fresh air, going to the bathroom, and meaningfully engaging with members of your community. You know these are needs. I know these are needs.

And yet. I have to pee as I write this. My fingers are itching to check the news — again. My sister just texted me a screenshot of a conversation with a friend who made a questionable decision at the polls. I'm thirsty. I'm hungry. My hand is cramping up. I stayed up too late last night after a busy weekend, scrolling on my phone to “decompress” while eating Halloween candy.

(So if, for a moment, my life seemed calm and easy, I promise its very often not. But I attempt to be in a doing world! Which brings me to the next step...)

Step 2: Disentangle myself and defend a space to be

I’m back! I actually finished that last paragraph and abandoned this draft for an hour. I peed, ate, drank water, and made more coffee. I have two "urgent" messages to respond to that "require" my time. But my hand is still cramping up (a stress response that happens occasionally that is a message from my body that I need. to. stop). So just meeting basic needs are not enough. I must defend my space — my right — to be.

That means not deleting the yoga I had booked on my calendar (that kept getting moved later and later in the day...), but instead letting a collaborator know that I'd be a little late to my last meeting of the day.

It means not postponing this newsletter, which is more values-aligned than other to-dos on my endless list, and instead sitting with my feelings this morning until the right words came up.

It means taking the day off when my daughter's daycare is closed on election day so that we can spend time together, rather than trying to cram in meetings and other responsibilities.

Step 3: Overflow your cup

When you simply fill your cup, the next step is usually depletion. Then you try to fill it again, then you deplete it, and the cycle keeps going.

Over the past few years, my focus has been not on filling my cup so that it is full once I need to deplete it, but overflowing my cup; my cup is for me and what overflows is for everyone and everything else.

These days, when my cup is empty or emptying, it's a major red flag that makes me slam on the brakes and return to step one.

If all of this "just breathe and put your phone on silent!" talk sounds reductive, I'd love to know: when was the last time you lived in a steady state of met needs with an overflowing cup? When was the last time your life had balance?

What does this look like for organizations?

Step 1: Ensure basic needs are met

2025 is the year I want to stop hearing about burnout. If employees are burned out, it’s the leaders’ and organization’s fault. Stop creating a space and culture in which human beings get burned out. I’m not saying it’s easy. I am saying it can be done (and the answer is not another burnout workshop).

Step 2: Disentangle and defend a space to be

At work, this looks like truly defining and communicating what it is like to work at your organization. Disentangle from shoulds and define your purpose, mission, vision, and values — ones that actually make sense and can translate into behaviors. Reward the behavior you want to see and correct the behavior you don’t. Define what transparency means at your organization, what work/life balance means at your organization, and what career paths look like at your organization. Be with purpose so that you can do well.

Step 3: Overflow the cup

You'll never achieve #3 until you at least do #1. Cut the fluff. Resource your teams. Learn to prioritize. Pause and reflect on your behaviors and decisions and stop making automatic choices or doing automatic things. Audit your processes and procedures. Have robust internal communication and document management strategies. Reduce friction and confusion. Increase collaboration and connection. Make it incredibly easy for folks to do their jobs to the best of their abilities. Lead with compassion.

This is not going to be a simple time for anyone. No one will ensure that you (or your organization) are able to be except for you. The irony of a world on fire is that the ability to be requires doing. So what will you do in order to be?

May you be healthy, may you be safe, may you be.

Caitlin

Caitlin Harper Founder, Commcoterie

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